As the old adage goes marriages are made in heaven. Issues happen because we fail to treat it as a relationship that demands attention. The fast-paced modern world where there is a constant hustle, partners are losing their spark very easily. The will to make it work is also diminishing. Marriage has become disposable and you would rather break then repair the bonds.
Adjustment and compromise have become dirty words
The pseudo liberal society we live in has made adjustment sound like a dirty word. Ego hassles are dominant and both spouses do not want to embrace compromise. Marriages are strained by small problems that often grow insurmountable as couples fail to address the elephant in the room. This is where expert marriage counselors like ReGain can work with you to effectively address the underlying issues and bridge the existing gap.
Marriage counselors suggest: Communication is the key
In the humdrum of jobs, children and life in general, couples forget the first commitment that a marriage demands. You need to communicate clearly with each other. It is not only a matter of talking about things to do, but it is necessary to talk about feelings too. It is important that you set apart quality time for conversation. The idea is to talk about something other than everyday stressful issues.
It is a good idea to talk about what you feel, rather than assuming what the matter is. Writing letters to each other if the breach seems too large to bridge is also a good way to open communication lines. Express what you feel in a way that does not seem accusatory, but gets the message across. It is important that the couple puts all that they feel in words, so that the other one gets a chance to explain. Many hurts can be erased by effective and positive communication. It is important to have mental intimacy.
Do Things together
It might sound trivial, but the key to a happy marriage is to do things together. Plan your activities so that you do some things that you enjoy together every day. It could be something like cooking, taking a walk together, listening to music, playing a sport or even bonding over a board game. These activities give you a space to be in sync with each other and ease any tension that might be there. Make this time sacrosanct every single day. Doing enjoyable things together keeps you connected.
Financial decisions should be made together
70% of the fights amongst couples are due to money. It is a known fact that most financial decisions in any marriage, especially in a patriarchal set up like ours are made by the husband unilaterally. This may cause a power struggle if both spouses are working. If the wife is not financially independent it is likely that she looks after the house and may face dominance from the rest of the family. The spouses need to have a clear understanding of what the contribution of each member is towards the family.
These are simple steps, but often the most difficult ones to take without impartial intervention from the marriage counselor if differences do erupt can save a marriage.