Marriage – The most important chapter of an individual’s life’s story, right? We live around two-thirds of our life being married to our spouse. However, not all marriages last as merrily or as long. If I had to ask you whether you’re happy or not with your respective spouses, would you be able to say yes in a second? Or, would you stand there thinking of all the pros and cons that you had in your marriage to decide if you’re happy?
According to the National Center for Health Statistics and US Census Bureau, the national divorce rate is 3.6 per 1000 people. Studies in the last year have also proven that more than 20 percent of marriages end in divorce in the first five years. These numbers are staggering and it will scare anyone who hopes to have a successful marriage.
Here are a few glaring mistakes that you can avoid in the early years of your marriage.
Mistake #1: Giving only one spouse access to money and knowledge about FINANCES
Many marriages I’ve seen have suffered because of this mistake. There are two types of marriages where only one spouse has access to the money and the knowledge about the family finances.
One, the spouse controls all the money, investments and expenditure. In this case, the wife has to constantly ask the husband for money and has no knowledge about the finances.
Second, in this type of marriage, both the wife and husband have separate bank accounts. They control their own finances separately. However, the problem is the use of words “his” and “her”. This could cause problems due to indifference.
So, what is the best relationship advice in this case?
The best relationship advice would be to have a joint account. Manage the finances i.e., investment, income, expenditure and assets together. Instead of having “yours” and “mine”, make it “ours”. Having equal knowledge about the finances in the family can help increase the understanding between the couple.
Mistake #2: Trying To Change Your Spouse
Have you ever tried to customize an order in the menu according to what you like and then realize how horrible it was? Okay, that’s probably not the right kind of example here but trying to change your spouse can be quite disastrous. It’s crucial to understand that your spouse is different but in his/her own way. You cannot expect your spouse to change themselves completely for you. Yes, marriage means compromise. Compromising means to adjust a few things here and there but it doesn’t mean that one has to entirely change.
On the other hand, you can try to understand your spouse. While this may sound like a heavy task, it isn’t. Once you try to understand your spouse, you’ll understand that they don’t have to change.
Mistake #3: Spending your Leisure Time Goofing Off
I get it, you just got married. You’re not used to doing everything with your wife. The starting few years of a marriage lay the foundation. If you spend your time goofing off to the park to play golf with your buddies or keeping yourself busy with your iPod, iPad and what not. We all need our alone time but sometimes, we forget to draw a line. We need to share experiences and try to spend as much as we can with our spouses. Not only will this help us understand our spouse better but it will help strengthen the bond. Let’s face it, once the kids come you’ll hardly have time for each other.
So, spend as much as time as you can with your spouse. Learn what they love and what they don’t.
These are just a few mistakes that newly-wed couples often make. Avoiding these mistakes will only result in a strong foundation for your long and happy marriage. If you think that your spouse is doing something you don’t like, talk. If you feel that there’s something that you need her to know, talk. If something bothers you, even if it’s that sex could be better, talk. Talk, talk and talk. Once you sit and talk with your spouse, you’ll see that marriage is a two-way street.