You might be in a toxic relationship and not even be conscious about it. There are some subtle differences between a toxic relationship and one that is in a rough patch and needs help. If you have hit a rocky road in an otherwise healthy relationship you will have the inclination to work on it and make it work.
How do you now that your relationship is toxic?
Toxic people have no remorse about hurting their partners and show an adamant refusal to change for the better. If one or both the partners show no signs of wanting to change the dynamics of the relationship, it may be deemed toxic. If the relationship has turned toxic, it may be a better idea to cut your losses.
This situation generally arises when one partner is physically or emotionally abusive and continually breaks down the morale of the other. A toxic spouse has no qualms in insulting or making the other spouse look small. It is a fine line you tread when you accept that your relationship has no chance of revival. A toxic relationship has no love in it.
To detect the 20 clear signs that show the prevailing disrespect in a marriage, click here. However, if you can see even a sliver of hope that one or both partners want to work on the relationship, it might just be able to survive the onslaught. Be careful, and take professional help if you are not sure about the situation. There is no sense in staying in a marriage that makes you miserable and there is no hope of changing the situation.
How to turn a relationship around?
The first step is to seek help. In most cases the couple that fights incessantly does not know how to take a step back. It needs a neutral person to break the vicious cycle and allow a safe space to talk things out. The therapist or counselor can offer an impartial outside view that friends or family cannot do.
Accepting fault is the cornerstone of patching up a marriage. The spouses need to open their eyes to their own faults and work towards resolving them. It is always a good idea to talk about the difficult stuff and bring the argument out in the open. It is not comfortable or easy, and you might want to engage with a counselor to help you be objective. You need to draw a hard line and say the truth to each at all cost.
The therapist can help you fathom if the behavior pattern that is breaking the relationship apart is a part of a pattern or just isolated incidents. If he/she can fathom a pattern, it may indicate an underlying mental health issue and require medical help. In some cases, appropriate treatment may resolve the issue altogether.
It is important to apologize to each other before you can move forward. This is only possible if both spouses are in a neutral and non-accusatory space. Healthy and open communication goes a long way in building trust. Be vigilant about not lapsing into petty and hurtful behavior. Your counselor will be able to point that out to you.
Relationships start out with a lot of love. Keep that love center stage and revive your marriage. But if you notice that the relationship has turned abusive or controlling, it is better to move on. Let a neutral therapist be the judge of it to save you from regrets later in life.